My dog won’t listen to me
by Ilias Raymondis, Specialist in dog-humans communication
As we may have mentioned in other articles, a dog may not listen to us for one or more of the following reasons:
• We haven’t caught its attention
• It doesn’t understand what we’re asking for
• What we’re asking for is unpleasant for it
So, before we accuse our dog of being stubborn, stupid, or trying to “get on our nerves,” we should pay attention to the following points.
Do we have its attention?
Getting a dog’s attention is more difficult than you might think. The reason? Their senses and the way their minds process the stimuli they receive. Every sound, smell, and movement carries information. Who, where, when, small or big, dog or something else, male or female, healthy, sick, or injured?
So when we ask our dog for something and it doesn’t even turn to look at us, it’s not because it doesn’t want to listen to us, but because it truly doesn’t hear us! Its mind is elsewhere. Additionally, we should keep in mind that dogs’ senses are much sharper than humans’. Just because we don’t hear, see, or smell something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
To be able to get our dog’s attention anywhere, we need to “work” on it first in a calm environment and gradually increase the stimuli. Furthermore, our relationship with them should not be poisoned by shouting or other forms of violence.
Does it definitely know what we’re asking for?
Just because a dog has executed a command somewhere, sometime, in some way, does not necessarily mean it knows it. Moreover, just because it performs a command very well in one environment doesn’t mean it understands it will perform it everywhere. For a dog to be able to execute a command anywhere, it needs special training, and most importantly, the dog and the owner must have an excellent relationship and know how to communicate.
Are we asking for something unpleasant?
When a dog doesn’t like something, it shows it to us in a thousand different ways. It may whine, droop its ears, lower itself to the ground, tuck its tail between its legs, or it may growl, show its teeth, or even (in extreme cases) attack. The worst thing we can do then is to punish it in any way.
When a dog is upset and we punish it, we simply make the situation even more unpleasant.
When a dog tries to communicate with us and we punish it, what it is most likely to understand is that it should stop communicating.
All creatures, and by extension dogs, try to avoid unpleasant situations. If they can’t avoid them, they will defend themselves in any way they can.
Advice like “be careful not to let it get the upper hand” or “show it who’s boss” belong to anthropocentric views of past decades and create more problems than they solve.
Example: A dog that doesn’t want to be left alone may stop complaining if we scold it enough, but the cause will not disappear. Anxiety, unease, or anything else made it complain, will push it towards other behaviors such as destruction, self-harm, escape tendencies, and will create various emotional changes such as tension, anger, and depression.
Today, we train dogs so that initially, they are more tolerant and, in the end, they accept situations. Initially, we leave the dog alone for short periods. At the same time, we give it an outlet by making the space it stays in alone comfortable and interesting. Gradually, the periods will become longer. Gradually, the dog will understand that being alone is not bad, but it is interesting.
Attention: Each dog has its own character and peculiarities, and the way we behave towards them and shape their behaviors and perceptions (always without violence) should be adapted to them.
Last advice
Dogs try to communicate with us. Unfortunately, because we don’t have a common language of communication, we misinterpret their behavior. Most of the time, they are neither Dominant nor Possessive, nor do they want to annoy us. They are just confused and/or in a deadlock.
